Drum Roll Please

I hesitate to post this blog because once posted, it’s like writing this decision in stone. I suppose writing it in stone isn’t all that bad since I’m comfortable with the decision I’ve made.

Here goes…

I am not going to the Federated States of Micronesia for a year. I am staying in Manhattan.


*whew* There….said it!

See my earlier post for the reasons this decision was made so difficult.

I’ve spent this weekend speaking with friends, reading, praying, enjoying the company of family here in the Amish country of Pennsylvania. I came here for the express purpose of getting away and spending some quiet time with God as I tried to discern what I should do. It’s funny. I always get frustrated with myself when I set out to spend a few days of quiet time with God because my quiet time usually ends up being less like a few days and more like a few hours. However, my heart is in a different, more humble place during these times, and this weekend I found that through involving myself in other things and not focusing my thoughts on the many questions surrounding my going or staying the desires of my heart became quite clear.

While the FSM would be a wonderful opportunity, my life here is just beginning. Having never had a place my heart called home, having never been in this place of love and self-acceptance, “here” is where my heart longs to be, to grow, to know God more fully and His will for me. So, as disappointing as this may be to some of you who were hoping to live vicariously through me while in the FSM…you can pray for me as I move into this next stage of my journey, as the territory is just as unchartered as would be any experience i'd have in a small developing South Pacific nation.

I finally have a place to call home. :-)

….and so life begins…