Sunday, August 07, 2005

Dear God

Dear God,

Today's another one of those days. Not sure what I think, feel, believe. It all seems too big for me to comprehend. And I'd love to get lost along the sidewalks and parkways. But you'd find me anyways. I think I prefer it that way. However, as I won't be on any sidewalks or parkways today...please find me here...right where I am. Unshowered and unshaven. Down but not depressed. Melancholy but not distressed. Somber and sober.

Please find me.

Bryan

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Sorry...

I know...i'm a pathetically horrible blogger! I haven't written anything in almost a month. Life is just so crazy right now that I really don't have time. Things will be somewhat simpler after I move into the city next week. Oh yeah, I found an apartment finally!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! I'm completely stoked since its in a great area and i'll be living with my friends. I'm kind of nervous too I guess....don't want to go crazy like I did a few years ago when i lived there...

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Too Much To Say

Sometimes what's too much to say is best said through a poem..

There are a million things I want to say to you. All of which I yearn to hear. I watch you and you watch me. Together sensing that what we want is farther than where we can go. And it's a melody too faint to hear. A vision far off and encased by frosted glass. It's the beating of my heart....the truth behind my smile...and the letters on my tongue. But in spite of these things, I still see you..... Watching you as you watch me. A reflection in this city's streets....I couldn't forget you if I tried. I'm always watching you, as you see me.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

New Career Options










I wonder how much I’d make as a bathroom attendant…

Sunday, June 26, 2005

What am I doing?!


Today was one of those days filled with what to do's. What to do about moving, what to do about an apartment, what to do about work, what to do about friends, what to do about pretty much everything. Most frustrating though is the fact that with all these questions i'm still left with little to no answers. And if you think about those questions you thought you had already answered long enough, you start to doubt the true nature of the answer....leaving you more frustrated and confused than you were before you woke up at 9am asking all those stupid questions!

Should I live and work in Manhattan?
If I did that would mean giving up a job with lots of opportunities (atleast it seems that way now...we're merging with another company so that could be a moot point), good money, great benefits, and lots of flexibility. Oh, and that I only started 3 months ago. However, i'm not all that passionate about the work, it's in an industry i'm not crazy about, and i'm not sure but I think I pretty much hate their corporate culture...although I do love my coworkers...SHOUT OUT TO THE BOKEN!!! I don't know what to do..... I was almost certain I was going to leave but then I got hit with a case of the "..but what if's."

-But what if you change your work schedule?
- But what if you approach things differently?
-But what if you give it one more try????


Screw it! The truth of the matter is...i've given it one more try atleast 10 times now. It's like that episode of Sex in The City where Miranda stops psychoanalyzing the men she dates and learns to accept when he's "Just not that into you." Well, i'm "just not that into" this job... WHO KNEW?!?!?! I think it's mostly because i've been frustrated one to many times in the past 3 months and my brain and my emotions have officially tendered their letters of resignation. I guess I should follow suit....