Ok, I’m back.
So, I told my friend this morning that I don’t think I want to be in a relationship and I don’t think I want children. Truth is, I was being serious. Totally serious! I love being single. I love having no such commitments, making lots of money that I can spend on me and me alone (hey I’m 25 get off me) and being able to come, go, and do as I please. I watch my friends who are married or coupled and while I admire what they have, I do not admire their bickering, fighting, jealousy, and whole host of other issues that come along with being coupled. I just don’t! I enjoy my singleness, although I’m aware of the fact that being single in NYC does not produce as much of a sense of loneliness as it does in other places.
I’ve never been one to fall easily for anyone. In fact, it’s a rare occurrence. I can count on one hand the number of people that I’ve fallen for in my entire life (not to be confused with a little crush) and I would say of all those people, only two exceeded the definition of an extreme crush. I say all of that to say that I just can’t imagine connecting with someone that way who also connects with me. More so, I can’t imagine someone loving me with the same capacity with which I can love them, including my two major “fall fors”. Now, before I get the sympatheic “awwww….someone will love you..”, please know that I do not feel any degree of sadness when I make that statement. I am a firm believer that not everyone is meant to have someone. That’s totally cool with me! However, I do feel that my heart is not one for hopping from one guy to the next. It’s pretty dedicated in its focus and unfortunately, that type of dedication is not all that prevalent among gay guys my age. The ability to be that dedicated in love is something I can sense in people. I tend to pick up on it rather quickly in both men and women. It’s a gift of sorts and perhaps I should look into leaving my firm and working for the X-Men or something. Anyway, I’m totally fine being single and abstinent…that’s right I said it…abstinent!
All this being said, today I heard a cute gay guy make a statement about children and his desire for them. In that one moment I saw a possibility that I had written off. For just that one moment I saw the circumstances under which I could want all of the above things. I think those circumstances are pretty obvious here, but perhaps I’ll blog them out at a later date. Do I think the chances are slim…unfortunately! But you never know right!?
Hasta la tootles!
So, I told my friend this morning that I don’t think I want to be in a relationship and I don’t think I want children. Truth is, I was being serious. Totally serious! I love being single. I love having no such commitments, making lots of money that I can spend on me and me alone (hey I’m 25 get off me) and being able to come, go, and do as I please. I watch my friends who are married or coupled and while I admire what they have, I do not admire their bickering, fighting, jealousy, and whole host of other issues that come along with being coupled. I just don’t! I enjoy my singleness, although I’m aware of the fact that being single in NYC does not produce as much of a sense of loneliness as it does in other places.
I’ve never been one to fall easily for anyone. In fact, it’s a rare occurrence. I can count on one hand the number of people that I’ve fallen for in my entire life (not to be confused with a little crush) and I would say of all those people, only two exceeded the definition of an extreme crush. I say all of that to say that I just can’t imagine connecting with someone that way who also connects with me. More so, I can’t imagine someone loving me with the same capacity with which I can love them, including my two major “fall fors”. Now, before I get the sympatheic “awwww….someone will love you..”, please know that I do not feel any degree of sadness when I make that statement. I am a firm believer that not everyone is meant to have someone. That’s totally cool with me! However, I do feel that my heart is not one for hopping from one guy to the next. It’s pretty dedicated in its focus and unfortunately, that type of dedication is not all that prevalent among gay guys my age. The ability to be that dedicated in love is something I can sense in people. I tend to pick up on it rather quickly in both men and women. It’s a gift of sorts and perhaps I should look into leaving my firm and working for the X-Men or something. Anyway, I’m totally fine being single and abstinent…that’s right I said it…abstinent!
All this being said, today I heard a cute gay guy make a statement about children and his desire for them. In that one moment I saw a possibility that I had written off. For just that one moment I saw the circumstances under which I could want all of the above things. I think those circumstances are pretty obvious here, but perhaps I’ll blog them out at a later date. Do I think the chances are slim…unfortunately! But you never know right!?
Hasta la tootles!
1 comments:
It's tough Bry. I've been single for pretty much all my life and it's hard to not want a companion to live life with. I try to tell myself that sure I can be fine alone - and maybe that's just a choice to accept it and move on - but at the end of the day....i don't want to be alone.
I'm still holding out for hope.
Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment