Oh, To Breathe Again...

So yesterday was kind of a piss poor day! It felt like everything that had been hovering around in my head and my heart just suddenly congealed and started oozing out of my eyeballs (sorry, that was the only metaphor I had). I was upset. I was irritated. I was very "emotional". *I’m ditching the term "emo" because I’ve realized that it's just one more word we use to pigeonhole men into some culturally defined idea of masculinity...i.e. men characteristically aren't supposed to be "emotional" so lets cut the word in half and use it as slang whenever a guy does anything outside the normal stereotypical activities of a male*. Anyway, today I feel much better.

Now granted, all of the same issues that existed yesterday exist today. Nothing in my life has miraculously changed. However, I was fortunate enough to be able to vent about certain frustrations in an email to a friend. No doubt that my friend now thinks I’m clinically insane and way too "emo" as he would put it...but still, putting down some of my most important thoughts in an email for someone else to read felt really good. So today, I feel invigorated. I feel the blood rushing through my veins. Suddenly life in the city is that much more exciting as are the things that lie ahead of me. My heart, which had felt stifled these past few weeks, suddenly feels free to do it's own thing...to live in the here and the now. I feel like myself again, with any emotional or mental changes that have taken place in recent months adding to the foundation of who I already was.

It's a wonderful feeling!!